“Not Just Thank You—He Now Says ‘Arigatou Gozaimasu’”
Six months after relocating to Tokyo, a seven-year-old boy from a Singaporean expat family surprised his parents—not just with his growing fluency in Japanese, but with something far more meaningful. He had begun to embody a quiet, deeply rooted sense of respect for others.
What truly astonished the parents was the moment he said, with clarity and courtesy: “But here’s what I think…”
Why does Japanese education cultivate both courtesy and independence—two qualities that seemingly oppose each other? Behind this lies Japan’s distinct educational culture and environment.
■ Courtesy in Japan Is Not Enforced—It’s Cultivated Through Atmosphere
In Japanese schools, “courtesy” is never imposed as a rigid set of rules or formalities. Instead, it is introduced as a shared responsibility—an atmosphere that students themselves learn to create for the comfort of others.
This subtle yet powerful ethos is embedded into everyday school life:
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Standing and bowing at the beginning and end of class
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Saying “Itadakimasu” and “Gochisousama” before and after meals
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Offering a small bow when passing someone in the hallway
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Making eye contact and gently offering a forgotten item with “Here you go”
These gestures aren’t mandates—they are socially intuitive acts of respect.
For children relocating to Japan, these moments become living lessons. By simply being among their peers, they begin to internalize this unspoken elegance—the art of creating harmony through everyday behavior.
■ And Yet—Individual Voice Is Never Silenced
What makes Japanese education truly exceptional is its ability to honor group harmony while still nurturing independent thought.
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In discussions, teachers regularly ask: “What do you think?”
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In art classes, children are given only a “theme,” with full freedom of expression
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In literature and social studies, students are prompted to explore characters’ emotions and consider “What would you do in this situation?”
This approach cultivates a rare and valuable skill: the ability to hold one’s own perspective while respecting the space and voices of others.
It’s an elegant fusion of cooperation and individuality—the very qualities increasingly demanded in a globally interconnected world.
■ Real Change: One Family’s Experience in Tokyo
A Thai couple whose children now attend a local elementary school in Tokyo’s Bunkyo Ward shared the quiet yet profound transformation they’ve witnessed.
Their 8-year-old daughter was initially shy and withdrawn—hesitant to speak during class. But just three months into the school year, she came home and said, smiling:
“Today I had a different opinion—and the teacher told me it was okay to share it.”
This simple moment signified something powerful: she was beginning to understand that her voice mattered, even in a structured setting.
Meanwhile, their 6-year-old son starts every morning by bowing and saying “Ohayou gozaimasu” at the school gate. The joy he feels when the teacher warmly responds with “Arigatou” is, to him, the highlight of his day.
“We were astonished by how much a child’s sense of self-worth can grow just from being treated with dignity.”
■ Where Western Individuality and Eastern Harmony Converge
Western education champions individual expression and assertiveness, while many Asian systems emphasize discipline, structure, and achievement—often within quiet, competitive environments.
Uniquely, Japan offers a middle path: a place where students are taught that they can, and should, hold their own opinions while respecting the presence of others.
This is not simply a cultural nuance—it’s a refined form of social training, and an invaluable foundation for the international stage.
Children educated in Japan learn to:
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Read the room with emotional intelligence,
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While still voicing their own values and perspectives.
In doing so, they develop a rare synthesis of qualities—poise, empathy, and self-assurance—the kind of character that signals both breeding and independence in equal measure.
■ Summary: Education That Doesn’t Instruct—It Inspires Awareness
In Japan, when a child learns “courtesy,” it’s not simply about phrases or formalities. It is a natural extension of empathy—a quiet awareness of others that reveals itself through graceful, intentional actions.
Similarly, the ability to express one’s own opinion with confidence and care does not come from assertiveness training, but from the emotional safety of being truly heard.
This is the essence of Japanese education: a cultivated art of awareness and expression, repeated with intention.